Inspirational leader who in times of crisis always leads from behind. Environmentally unfriendly because of the greenhouse gases emitted from his butt. Selector of t-shirts, has more than one vote, and has been known to go for a weeks holiday with one pair of kegs. Regularly receives fan mail from seismographs on account of his sonorous snoring. Full Member.
Holder of fantastic barbecues. Never gives up, determined. Pain is not a word that he is familiar with. Has been known to shag Flossie. Likes pole dancers with tassels. And unlike WPL he is comfortable being at the top of the food chain, and is in no danger of being called anorexic. Tamer of tigers and enlightener of virgins (24 hours notice with at least 10 minutes interval). Outfitter to the AC. Full Member.
No one knows what he looks like as he is always out in front. The social skills of a builder's brick. He never leaves the AC short of beer as long as he turns up. For his various sins he has been banished to hell (England). Has a secondary occupation as a peripatetic environmental health officer. Sportsman, all-round athlete, over-achiever, and as hairy as a gorilla (with similar social skills). International Associate Member.
Underachiever, still to produce first male-born. Loves to impersonate Freddy Mercury, but has more success as lead climber. A career in the diplomatic service beckons after he displayed his talents in Aviemore. Hates fat people. Has politics somewhat to the right of Attila the Hun. Documentary evidence of him pleasuring himself with Flossie the inflatable sheep. The only AC member to have skied under a bus. Constantly requiring a new car/bike/yacht/canoe but too stingy to do anything about it. Founder Member but since reduced to Associate Member after not paying subscription.
Webmaster and GPS consultant. Claims to drink wine by the pint [this is a gross mis-statement of what was really said: I said that I could probably about keep up with the other beer-swilling members at a rate of a 12.5cl glass of wine to their pint of beer - The Webmaster]. Is bilingual (his wife says she's very happy about that). Has dodgy knees (Two new legs please and a set of Six Million Dollar Man tapes). A late amendment to the AC and is noted for his chat up lines. The only AC member that is preferred by 9 out of 10 midges/mossies etc. and hence very useful to be around on the West Coast. Associate Member.
The quiet man of the group and has a liking for steam trains and anything old and mechanical. Official FireMaker to the AC as can get a fire going with 2 damp boots. Eloquent speech writer, letter composer and motto maker. Instigator of AC Olympics and instrumental in getting Gullane Sands awarded the AC Olympics. Noted for demonstrating early signs of Alzheimers: forgetting his boots, losing his house keys, and anything else important. Has achieved great solo hillwalks (forgot to bring his fellow AC members). Full Member.
Style guru. Aspires to be the quiet man (chance would be a fine thing). "Any Chance?". Everything to excess (especially the Internal Combustion Engine). Talent correspondent and Solar Panel to the AC. The only AC member who knows most of the words of Two Little Boys and therefore qualifies as a Rolf Harris fan. Likes to enforce Alpine Starts and with his famous line "Come on!". Chief motivator to the AC. Provider of drugs to the AC as long as it's Paracetamol. Lives by the motto "It's better to burn out than fade away".